Darkness

hi..long time no see.

2009-11-06T10:40:00.002+08:00

if one day i meet you in outside...should i say long time no see to you??hahah...indeed..we stay together..but we dy 1 week didn't see each other..all i can is listen to your voice..know that u are itchy..can't even help..no..i have no right..who am i o?i am the one you hate..the one who know the truth.is only vincent and sky..thats all..i will not tell anyone..because i am willing to take it when i decided to do this..you lost one friend,like me,but is ok..nothing big lost.you will gain many people's trust..your reputation in G1,2,3 will be protected..We break up because i am a weirdo.everyone thinks like that..well i am ok..for your happiness..i am willing to do it..

yi..

2009-11-05T17:18:00.002+08:00

Today..i went for sing k with my friends...we were sing happily.but in the middle.a song appear..
安静,,by jay chou...look at the lyrics,is enough for me to cry..
只剩下钢琴陪我弹了一天
睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你
只剩下钢琴陪我弹了一天
睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你
你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你
...i hold the tears in the sing k part.

then when back home,i cried..i miss you..i love you..but i am willing to leave for your happiness..I am willing to leave...I have my reason why i did this..i have my reason..so please trust me..

Star one..

2009-11-02T22:13:00.005+08:00

hahahaha..looks like everything go as i plan..STAR ONE, pls remember one thing.i never change..i love you more then i can do..so this is the way that i can think of..at least it benefit you.people won't talk bad about you.as you know,S.H.E dy know what you did to me,so i must do that.come on.i also don't hope you kena people say you bad things ar..or maybe i think too much,i just want you to have a relaxing next love..i don't want you to stop your feeling..you are a nice girl..i am serious.maybe you won't give a damn now.because sure now u angry at me telling your best friend about this.but pls think deeper,y i choose her?because she is the one who willing to share things woth you.from the moment i want to tell her,i dy know.for helll sure she will tell you everything.you no need feel guilty.i treat you bad.everyone know that now.thats y you breakup with me.haha..i just want everyone to know that i treat you bad.i want all your friends to think that i am the worst people in the world.so that you will be loved.be protected.people will pity you.as your best friend also will think that i am bad enough so you break up with me.you didn't break up with me because you like sean..i don't accept this fact..pls..you never think of my feeling..but you no need feel sorry to me lar~~haha..i also like that do you.so we didn't own each other..you didn't treat me bad..i love you,,baby..i miss the day i kissed you for the first time..sorry to tell you,you are my first girlfriend that i kiss in terms of french..

Everything comes again like what i did to A.F

2009-11-01T23:36:00.000+08:00

Hahahahaha..yea..i purposely do it..I purposely tell sec lee so that you will hate me.I know.She will surely tell you.I know.you will hate me after this.no worries anymore..start from the moment i do this to you,i know.i won't be your friend anymore.i am weak.sorry to tell you that i can't put you down..so that i choose this way.trust me or not,i do that so that you will hate me.i want it to be like this.because i wanted too..i know you are with sean now..i am not stupid nor idiot.i can see..people can see..Dior saw okay.u stupid.haha..together go sunway also let my friend see..pls la...wanna date also not here ma..lol..you really..haiz..suan liao lo..haha..i do this on purpose because..i hope you hate me.i hope u disappoint at me..so that you won't feel anything bad towards me.i know more things then you do okay..i am willing to take this.maybe u will hate me forever,but i dun care.i know he is better then me 1000 time.but what i care??i care you ar..u dy pt with him,but still don't want to let anyone know.that is very selfish..haha.sorry for being selfish.but ..think about it..what people will think of you??u cheap cake??pls..everyone dun know anything..i know i shouldn't.but i dy did.so no point taking it back.after all,i want all this..Now,as i plan if not mistake,whole world will like you.pity you.and all will angry to me,or hate me.because i do this.But seriously,if u really treat me as friend,you won't tell anyone.and..you also lied to me..remember that day i ask you did sean call you and tell you that i called him???you lied.I am not stupid.pls.i know more then you.since the day u back with sean.U remember my ex also like this.i am speechless lo..you..haiz..but nvm lar..i did that on purpose because i want you to hate me.you are happy now..and i will forget you now..because you won't find me anymore.hahahahahahaha..but please remember one thing..I LOVE You.so i do this..I dun want you to feel guilty or what towards me.make you hate me is the only way..for what i can think of..i hope to be your part of memories..as the first one you love..thanks for what you had gave me this four month..thanks....YOu even told sean that i hug you for last time right??!!!haiz...i am really disappoint at you..is very!!!!!pls..is VERY!!!what am i to you actually?haiz...but i don't care anymore la..you happy enough..

it end.

2009-10-23T20:48:00.000+08:00

break up on 18/10 due to feeling less..

Finally...

2009-09-12T14:34:00.002+08:00

Finally..today had come..the darkest day in my life..after ai fan..She told me..We have problems in our relationship..She told me..she is tired...she told me..she is getting piss off..She is tired..she want to end this relationship..A girl that i love the most..a girl that i care the most..a girl that i would willing to spend everything to her..a girl that..I will give my world to her,told me that she is tired of our relationship...The girl that i hug always,the girl that i kiss always,the girl that i text always,the girl that i miss always,the girl that i hold in my hands,the girl that lay down on my chest while watching movie,the girl that used to love me very much had gone..Exam coming..how am i gonna pass it..i totally have no mood in study..I am turning back to what i was..

today..sad day again..

2009-09-10T23:31:00.002+08:00

today,we were having cool war..even she say nothing..but i can feel it..The feeling of her toward me is getting cooler and cooler..i know..she is tired..i know..she is getting bored for our relationship..I ask her..whats wrong with us?but she say nothing..She don't care about me for long time dy..she didn't hug me for long time dy..when was the last time she say she love me??when was the last time she kiss me..when was the last time she smile with me..when was the last time she chat happily with me alone.when was the last time she say she miss me..when..when..when..i forget..the date..i forget..the feel..it is fading away very fast..nothing can make me happy..i do everything that has nothing to do with me.i help her everything.i give my time..every minutes i free,i spend for her..i do her thinking skill project..that had totally nothing to do with me..i spend the whole night...with her best friend..do the cover for her project..today..when i go to find her after Mr gopi exam,i saw her..with her make friend..alone..talking...about their problems..she didn't share anything with me..I was heart broken when i saw this scene.not i don't believe her..even herself also don't believe her feeling,how am i gonna believe her..i keep stick with her.because i hope to be the one she need when she really need me..i hope..to be the one appear in front her eyes when she need help..i hope..i always hope..but nothing..she said that i was kinna bothering..and she beg me..please don't bring anymore problem to her..i was a problem for her..i never know..i never know..i was very sad..i nearly cry..serious..my eyes was wet..so i walk away..to cool down my feeling..then i help her do her project cover.I was hoping that she would feed me..just anything will do..because i do all this,for HER!!for her..she didn't..she feed her friends first..then she have fun talking with her friends..Finally..her friends left..leave only me and her..i was once again hoping..hoping that she will praise me,hug me,or do something!!but she didn't..what i get from her was.sorry,i was not in a good mood.i don't feel like talking..but she was talking with her room mate..she was having with her friends minutes ago..she WAS TALKING WITH HER MOM ON THE PHONE MINUTES AGO..she will be talking to her male friend later...WHAT AM I TO HER...i was damn sad..she hurt me so bad..why..everything also like this..wan ling also like that..ai fan also like this..what am i??thing that can absorb hurts??i am really shocked..har??after all i did,i spend my night doing this,all i get,is only i am not in good mood,don;t feel like talking..hahahahahaha..hahahahahaha,,,8 words from her..thats all..nothing dy..

9.9.09.

2009-09-09T21:19:00.002+08:00

today,we done our moral assessment..She pay out many things.she deserved the champion more then anyone.but..when Mr.Adrian announce the champion,she happily jump,hug,hold hands with everyone..but not me..i know why..but i still feel very sad..i am struggling..no one see my pain..i need a hug seriously..

cool down again

2009-08-29T22:12:00.003+08:00

haiz..just 3 month pass..then need to cool down again..wat the hell??T.T..i am so bad..i am guilty.what the hell am i doing??so pathetic beastly move..I hate myself..I am useless..

day before..

2009-08-27T20:16:00.002+08:00

today..she was not in mood..i tried my best to cheer her up..but yet..she ignore me..and..i was acting as gay at my theater..I really can't take it..but yet..i take it..because of her..if i didn't take,the whole thing need to be change..i take it because of her..seriously..i hate gays and sissy..is impossible for me to act in front of so many people like this..i think i love her damn much..but did she appreciate it??i hope bah..

days continue..

2009-08-26T00:04:00.002+08:00

today..while i was with her,i was acting..oh my god..i was damn professional in acting.i act happy all the evening..i found it tired..seriously tired..then i bath and go into her rooms..nothing much happened..my so called 'unangryable friend'(means a friend who her willing to fuck up with me) friend angry at her.then she straight text him,msn him..i am pretty much sure she won't do that to me...I am speechless..nothing much more happened..I won't care anymore..I will take all by myself..I am always happy..because i am wearing a happy mask..No one knows my heart is crying..no one knows my heart is bleeding..no one knows..I swear..i won't show it anymore..Friday is coming..didn't expect much..She won't give a damn..she was date with another guy..to have MY dinner..she like bah..i am trying to heal my heart..

meanwhile..

2009-08-25T01:59:00.002+08:00

hemm..i touch her..what am i doing??!!T.T..i feel like i am polluting my relationship..Shit..i let lust come to my brain..what am i thinking??i feel myself guilty.. I feel like raper..I am a beast!!!i know that i should not get too near to her!!i know i can stop..but i can't..she really had nothing..this is all pay up..I feel sorry to her to have a boyfriend like me..that why i said..I must treat her good..

first day..

2009-08-24T17:47:00.003+08:00

yea..i know..it would be very hard..I will try..i will keep everything myself...today..she play with a boy..the boy eventually touch her..i hate it..but i still keep smiling..i got nothing to say..i WON'T say a word..i dy promise myself..then in the evening,she wanna went out with the boy again assume.i am not that scare because that boy have a nicer girlfriend then her hell lot.i was sad because she dump me...she text me..i really don't feel like caring anymore..but it is totally impossible for me to do that..i still love her so much..i ask about stuff i need to know,then i let her go..My heart was 99.9999999percent don't want she to go..but it won't use..she will still be going.i know it..just let her go bah..after all,she dy decided then only ask..i don't know how much can i take.

P.S by the way,xian,i know you are my only one best friend who read this.so,i also open another blog called ilovesingyi.blogspot.com..go and have a look at it..it talks about happy stuff between me and her..

一个跟朋友谈的恋爱。。

2009-08-23T00:01:00.001+08:00

今天是八月二十二日。在六天，就是我和我女朋友的三月恋爱日了。可是发生了一些不愉快的事。。她说我对她的朋友太差了。因为，我常常不爽她的朋友。今天，我的学院最好的朋友之一讲我了。他说，我绑得我女友太紧。。可是他重来不知道我的难受。。我女友也怪罪于我。。她说，如果只可以选一个的话，她会选那个朋友。。她严重地伤害了我。她会管我的感受吗？不。。没人会。。因为在这事里，我是坏人。。大坏人。。我决定了。。放手。。不会在这样了。。她伤地我太深了。不管了。反正她也不会在乎我。不管我对她多好，都是这样。。算了。。我不会再问。不会再烦。就像以前这样。。因为她伤我太深了。。

So call friendship..

2009-08-22T14:34:00.002+08:00

Fuck you my friend..Fuck you..you are a useless piece of shit..you make me and my relationship getting worst..you are useless..if ever you let me know that you like my girl,then go fuck yourselves...i hate you..really..if ever you make me and my girl argue..i forever WILL NOT ever try to fuck you dy...so call friends..you don't forget..who is the one with you when you are hate by your groups member..you better don''t let me know you love my girl..if not,i swear to god..you will die..

理会。。

2009-08-20T21:33:00.002+08:00

今天，我又为妳哭了。。你看到吗？？我哭你会有任何反应吗？？因该不会有吧。。今天。。在我情绪最低落的时候，你知道我是多么的想要抱妳吗？你知道吗？你会理会我吗？？你朋友哭时，你烦恼了好多天。。而我呢？你会在乎吗？还是我只是当你想恋爱时，才想到的一个人？你就不可以在乎我多一点吗？就多一点就够了。。我的要求不过分啊。。你喜欢用你那怪怪的脾气来折磨我吗？你知道我有多伤心吗？你会在意我吗？你知道我有很多话想对你说吗？就在乎我多一点点就好了。。

how long can it last??

2009-08-19T00:11:00.002+08:00

she is with me now...on my leg..sleeping soundly..she looks tired..aiks..but she got asssesment tomorrow..hemm..wat to do??haiz..study till sleep..so ke lian!!!ko lian tai..lately,she is kinna fan..haiz..thanks to that fucking chi bai chao hai donkey asshole jin sxxxx..oh my fucking god..that bitch is driving my girl crazy..haiz..i know my girl love me..but she don't really know how to show..and i admit,sometimes,it is so annoying..but seriously serious..i think i can't lost her now..haha..i love her damn much la wei..haiz..thats why i ask..hemm..when will this relationship ends??seriously,i hope it won't..because i love her..the reason is easy and simple..i LOVE her..but..she seldom cAres..but who cares..hehe..i love enough..

haiz.

2009-08-12T13:44:00.000+08:00

fuck..kena go home one week..is damn boring here..no $$..haiz..yesterday she called me when i was in cinema..she cried..she was scare..but i was no beside her when she need me..what the hell am i doing here?am i a good boyfriend??i damn miss her..wish can be with her now..

Yesterday..

2009-08-03T00:18:00.000+08:00

I feel really sad..My parents just scold me..And my girlfriend back late like hell..we was suppose to have a talk today..but why is this happening??maybe i should free my hand..

The second night..

2009-07-29T19:16:00.002+08:00

Today is the second night that she didn't spend with me..She said she had many stuff to do..she said she has ton of assignment to do..i don't know..But today is the second day..She just scold me just now..Second day without any kiss..Maybe i am too sensitive..or maybe feeling down dy..I asked her..did we need a talk..but she say nothing..I really hope she will know that was my tear yesterday..but i hope she don't know also..haiz..fan 7..fuck everything in the world..where is the hug when i needed one??

世界上最远的距离

2009-07-29T00:53:00.000+08:00

世界上最远的距离 ——泰戈尔世界上最远的距离不是生与死的距离而是我站在你的面前你却不知道我爱你世界上最远的距离不是我站在你的面前你却不知道我爱你而是爱到痴迷却不能说我爱你世界上最远的距离不是我不能说我爱你而是想你痛彻心脾却只能深埋心底世界上最远的距离不是我不能说我想你而是彼此相爱却不能够在一起世界上最远的距离不是彼此相爱却不能在一起而是明明无法抵挡这一股气息却还得装作毫不在意世界上最远的距离，不是明明无法抵挡这一股气息却还得装作毫不在意而是用一颗冷漠的心在你和爱你的人之间掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠世界上最远的距离不是树与树的距离而是同根生长的树枝却无法在风中相依世界上最远的距离不是树枝无法相依而是相互了望的星星却没有交汇的轨迹世界上最远的距离不是星星之间的轨迹而是纵然轨迹交汇却在转瞬间无处寻觅世界上最远的距离不是瞬间便无处寻觅而是尚未相遇便注定无法相聚世界上最远的距离是鱼与飞鸟的距离一个在天一个却深潜海底世界上最远的距离是什么?也许每个人都有自己的看法.我认为最远的距离并不是上天给我们的,而是我们自己创造出来的.

Night of 28 of July..22.44

2009-07-28T22:45:00.000+08:00

I just get out from her room..Shit..I drop my tears on her hands..while she was sleeping..The tears just can't hold..Am i not good enough??Do i deserve this?I must treat her not good enough.Yea..thats why..Today should happy..I tried to hold my feeling ..Try to stop the tears from dropping..but it just can't hold..Maybe i should really cool down my feeling..Aren't today should be happy??Why am i crying??I remember every word she said..I wore the shirt that she said want to see me wearing today..but how long she spend to look at me..What am I to her??How many 28 can i celebrate with her??She is headache..I should know that..but i just can't hold..the tears fell..I rush out her room..I can't let her see me crying...Must not..Sure she will feel guilty..Nah..I am just emo..Just feel like crying..today i even didn't got the chance to hug her..Last 28 we didn't meet..but it is better then today..at least we sms..at least i got the chance to see that she type she love me..today..nothing..not even a hug..anything..just drop by my rooms to take her book..thats all..nothing..noting any more..haha..what am i expecting??yea..i am expecting something..again..I am willing to give her everything..but will she want it??just a small space for me in her heart..just a small smile from her to me..just a single care words from her to me..It will surely make my day feel better then anyone else..Love sucks really..Two time also like this..But i love her..What can i do expt crying..Crying will make me feel better..she happy..enough..Just a single call i will do anything for her..really..

28 of Julyt...

2009-07-28T20:59:00.001+08:00

Today is the second month that I start my relationship with my girlfriend..yea..Is the sharp second month..I was thinking of all those thing that i can do with her today..but...at night,we end up doing nothing together..She in her room,me at my room..I didn't even got the chance to hug her and tell her that i love her in today.I am really really sad..

Every day sad evening..

2009-07-20T19:34:00.000+08:00

everyday is just the same..What for..she stay with her friends,and yet,they can keep talking and talking together without notice me by her side..What am i?is it no matter how hard i do my work,how good i treat her,it won't make my value rise in her heart??I am forever throw away?

Friends and lover..Which one will you choose??Baby,does friends really so important to you??Then what is my role of being your boyfriend??Is there anything I can do to make you see me in the front line of your heart??Or just stand there forever until you forget my name or face??

我的她。。。

2009-07-17T19:41:00.000+08:00

我开始觉得我越来越不重要了。。。我有什么用处吗？她的内心只有她的好朋友和家人。。我算是什么啊？拜托。。我是她的男朋友！！！可是，她有什么都只是找朋友。。我呢？我算什么？？说我妒忌。。对！！我就是妒忌。。因为我是她男友。。可是，在她哭时，我什么都不能做。。我这男友还算及格吗？？我想。。。分手就只是时间问题罢了。。我还可以做什么吗？我到底算什么啊？？为什么当你有事时，我永远都不会妳想见的哪一个呢？拍拖一个月多了。。你就不可以依靠我吗？我比不上你的朋友？一定是比不上吧。。想要跟你拍照。。尽然比登天还难。。你的电话里，全是跟其他人合照的照片。。你有把我当成是你男友吗？算了。。不拍了。。永远不拍了。。我不会再提了。。你开心就好吧？？！！你开心时，我会常常问我自己。。我的女朋友到底是在开心吗？？她的内心在哭吗？？这点，我永远不知道。。因为你的内心只有你的挚友和你的家人。。当有他们时，我永远是个局外人。。我只是当你没有朋友和家人时，才感觉到你对我的爱。。对。。就只是局外人。。我一直都有检讨。。我对你不够好吗？？还是要更好？你教我吧。。因为我不会。。我可以把我的全世界给你。。但你不需要。。我就只想挤进你的内心。。就希望当你伤心时，你知道我在你的身旁。。看得见我。。听得见我的声音，安慰，拥抱。。你会在想你的好朋友时哭，可是你会在想我时哭吗？？或者想我时，就只是在当朋友和家人都在时，才想想我。。what am i to you actually??

yea..and haiz..

2009-07-14T19:12:00.000+08:00

Finally,i got my girl,s forgiveness..hehe..don't ask me how i do it.this is all about the power of love..hoho..But..I start to feel something strange between her..erm..how to say?I feel like we are not as near as last time..maybe..all is just my feel..Or the feeling is begining to fate away..Time can carry everything..no matter mistake or feeling towards me..Maybe all is my feel..but i began feel that is hard to catch my girl..Will she be leaving me soon??i don't know..but i pray to god that i hope that day will never ever come..because i think i really fell in love with her..i began to feel helpless when she near to another male..I feel betrayel..What should i do?should i just tell her that i don't like?Or just let it be??When she happy enough..I am a man..i can take all this??Our memorries will not leave any proof in the photo album..Just like the WHITE ALBUM..What is love anyway??Is this the love that i dreamt of??erm..the truth,not at all..i think,nethier as her bah..She is very gentle,tender and cute..I feel like i am not good enough for her..Maybe she deserved someone better then me?I feel like i am not good enough for her..Did she really need me?Will she be even happier when i am not around her?I am just someone who stop her from going out with her male friends..Someone who only bring sadness to her because of my sensitiveness..Or maybe the feeling is dy fate away that day when i hurt her..I really love her very much..Yea..I can tell that..More then wan ling dy..haha..A girl stay with me not even half year can so fast replace the girl in my heart for few years??yes..this is what love call..I don't even know wheater is she still love me..I am lost..I need her love and tender to bring back to the road..What an i actually??Nothing right..Just a very very very normal human..I feel tired..I feel like sleep for the whole life..Anyone will even care if i suiside??Will you guys care??Haha..sure say will right..but maybe after feel month begin to forget me..I am feeling very empty now..Or maybe just too tired??!i wish to be with my girlfriend every second when i am free or when she is free..but there won't be any much chance.the moment we can spend time together is only midnight and early in the morning..Till now,after ONE month plus plus we become couple,you even can't find a single picture of mine and her inside her phone..All the picture in her phone is only with her friends..Her male friends..If someone at my hometown ask me can see your girlfriend,How am i suppost to let them see??Go facebook??see all the picture that she take with other male??Where is me??Am i really not good enough??Or dy is the time..I wish for more then half years leh..Please god..Don't break me and my girlfriend..I love her more then anyone do..I really does..Or my best friend,should i return back to the castle which built in my heart??Just leave there alone the whole life..just like what i said before..Malaysian girl..Not even one is good?haha..no la..my girlfriend is good lo..just i not deserve to have such girlfriend..My feeling towards her is increasing while her's i really don't know..will she be still loving me??Will she still willing to hold my hands??i hope she will..forever bah..Because i don't really feel like leaving her right now..I always hope to be with her when she need an ears.but do i really got the chance?i don't know much about her..her ic,her anything..Will she share anything unhappy to me??I really hope she will..She will share her unhappy thing the first with me,and the happy thing first..or happy thing last also never mind..The most worst case,just be her safety balloon..I really willing to that..because i love her..thats all..one word love is enough for everytthing..Baby,I really really do love you..i always to be with you..the same group with you in everything..I thought you will be willing to serve me in your restaurant service..i thought is the most happiest thing to see the one you love while serving..but i don't think that you don't like it..for me,my most happy thing in this world is to cook and serve my love one..Thats why i really hope that you will come..Dy one month..I hope to tell everyone in the earth that you are my girlfriend..but you don't like it..why??why??haha..never mind bah..you like enough bah..muackzz..who call me you are my girlfriend..i just hope you will think of me once you are free..baby..i love you..

Sorry my girl~~

2009-07-12T15:51:00.001+08:00

aiks~~sorry baby..i didn't mean to talk to you like this..i really hope you will forgive me..Shit..I feel damn guilty..This is the first time i make you feel like crying..Oh my god..really sorry..T.T..I was really gone over on it..Just take your time to cool down..SOrry baby,,i love you..Aisteru wa yo~~watashi no kanojyo..Sing yi chan...

everything just don't go as what i expected...

2009-07-10T23:50:00.000+08:00

here comes again...Can someone please cure my wound??it really hurts..Today was one of the most unhappy day in my life..Firstly,my rather stupid group members...We have a group assessment..Actually,it was really perfect to make a group for my whole team..But..they just wanna split out..what are they thinking actually?do they know that i am trying my best to fit in them?they are really stupid..really useless..Then make me gotta mix with my another groups friend..yea..my girlfriends group..Second wound on me..When i asked her can i join your group,you know what she said??Feel very weird..what the hell??Why it is weird?because i am in here??Then..we actually plan to go somewhere tomorrow..I was really really very very expecting this outing you know??but in the final end,she just suddenly said she don't wanna go dy..why??maybe she dy go with her brother just now??then feel boring dy..What the hell o??Can you care for me ma??I want to go..You like bah..I am piss off..then??need me to say sorry some more ??what the hell is going on??Where is your caring?What is this sudden cool sudden hot about??huh??I am sad..Bloody hell sad you treat me like this..

Again meh??

2009-07-08T19:52:00.000+08:00

Yea..there she go again..Sometimes,i really wonder..what am i to her??do i really important??or i only important to her when she need a boyfriend sometime??no matter how i try my best,i really can't be more important ma??what am i then??stupid attitude haven't hurt me enough??you like to like this you like bah..you happy enough..i will take it..tears dy normal for me to drop..you ask yourselves bah..what am i to you??where are you when i need a hug??haha..suak la..never mind de la..You happy enough..You happy enough..after all,I will emo sometime only right??Today is the second time i drop tears because of this relationship..i am very easy to hanlde right??just come my room,knock knock my door,hug hug me,then i fine dy..right??She happy enough..i can't jealous right??onli you can....you happy enough..

tired

2009-07-07T02:40:00.001+08:00

I am tired....tired in everything....family,friends....just everything...i am a nobody in this world....it just sucks....what is my birth for???for sad?or for what...everyday wearing a mask to become a people...what for????for wealth?or what...tell me...i am really tired....haha..i might kill myself you know????just a joke la...

你知道什么是爱吗?

2009-07-07T02:38:00.000+08:00

开始总是甜蜜的。

后来就有了厌倦、习惯、背弃、寂寞、绝望和冷笑。

曾经渴望与一个人长相厮守，后来，多么庆幸自己离开了？

曾几何时，在一段短暂的时光里，我们以为自己深深的爱着的一个人。后来，我们才知道，那不是爱，那只是对自己说谎。

你以为不可失去的人，原来并非不可失去。你流干了眼泪，自有另一个人逗你欢笑。你伤心欲绝，然后发现不爱你的人，根本不值得你为之伤心。今天回首，何尝不是一个喜剧？情尽时，自有另一番新境界，所有的悲哀也不过是历史。

爱情总是想象比现实美丽，相逢如是，告别亦如是。我们以为爱得很深、很深，来日岁月，会让你知道，它不过很浅、很浅。最深最重的爱，必须和时日一起成长。

因为爱情的缘故，两个陌生人可以突然熟络到睡在同一张床上。然而，相同的两个人，在分手时却说，我觉得你越来越陌生。

爱情将两个人由陌生变成熟悉，又由熟悉变成陌生。爱情正是一个将一对陌生人变成情侣，又将一对情侣变成陌生人的游戏。

相信爱情可以令一个人改变，是年轻的好处，也是年轻的悲哀。浪子永远是浪子。令男人改变的，也许是上帝的爱或者佛祖的慈悲，但绝对不会是女人。

最不宜结婚的是浪子，最适宜结婚的也是浪子。往往不是女人改变一个浪子，而是女人在浪子想改变的时候刚好出现。

男人的一生，不过对女人做两件事：超乎她想象的好和超乎她想象的坏。女人用他的好来原谅他的坏。如果有一天他们不能在一起，不是他太坏，而是她太好。

我们一生之中，要牢记和要忘记的东西一样多。记忆存在细胞里，在身体里面，与肉体永不分离，要摧毁它，等于玉石俱焚。然而，有些事情必须忘记，忘记痛苦，忘记最爱的人对你的伤害，只好如此。

时间会让你了解爱情，时间能够证明爱情，也能够把爱推翻。没有一种悲伤是不能被时间减轻的。

如果时间不可以令你忘记那些不该记住的人，我们失去的岁月又有什么意义？

如果所有的悲哀、痛苦、失败都是假的，那该多好？可惜，世上有很多假情假义，自己的痛苦、失败、悲哀，却偏偏总是真的。

他纵有千个优点，但他不爱你，这是一个你永远无法说服自己去接受的缺点。一个人最大的缺点不是自私、多情、野蛮、任性，而是偏执地爱一个不爱自己的人。

我....

2009-07-07T02:36:00.000+08:00

我.....我活在这世上有用吗?让我来自己答好了.没用.我为什么活在这世上?为爱,为朋友,为家人???不都不是.我迷失了自我.我的灵魂献给了黑暗.爱为何物?朋友是什么?家人?我不想说了.我要找回自己???不,不,不,不可能,我就如一个盲人正在大大的沙漠寻找一只针.感情???是垃圾吗???我想我还没伤得这么深吧...朋友????在学校我有一个可以谈心的朋友吗??没有...每天要带一个面具去学校...必须隐藏我伤心的样子,让人觉得我没有烦恼.每天嘻嘻哈哈的,逗我身边的人开心....我很笨吧...对不对??你们一定是这样想的吧...我像小丑一样...我非常的怕寂寞的感觉...我感到很无助的时候你们在那儿啊???我向来很少说我的东西给你们听..心碎了;变成粉了...教我如何找回?我受够了...我不是超人...我是会垮的....

人。。。

2009-07-07T02:33:00.000+08:00

人是什么?人吗?对.. 就是..你们知道吗?在美丽及帅气的人皮下,只有自私,贪婪,妒忌等等。这是多么地可悲啊！朋友是什么？不知道。。。你说我总是想太多。可是，是你的行动令我想太多啊！！你说我们是交心的朋友，不必表现出来，可是。。。我就是不行。。哎。。我的人生，究竟是为了什么？？算了吧。。就让它冷淡。我也累了。。就让我们带着面具，一直的假下去吧！！友谊万岁？？哈哈。。算了吧。。你过你的生活，我过我的。。你就去假。。

My new life...

2009-07-07T02:09:00.001+08:00

Yea..I got my girlfriend..haha..Happy stuff??But no one knows..Should I be happy??Maybe..But i don't really do...I love her damn much..so does she..but how come i still feel like this??aiks~~i can't get into her heart..I am the third in her life..I really hope to be her pair of ears when she need one you know..but don't really can't..yea..my heart fade away..is not easy to get it back you know??god bless me..please..no more hurting in this love stuff..My friends??yea..some of it i really missed..but you mother fucker..get the hell out of my sight..i can't hold..want the hell are you??fuck..nah..i don't give a damn..what do i care so much for?i have my new life here..My love here..i don't need you..you was my precious but not anymore..NO ONE CAN FIT RIGHT INTO MY HEART..It had been close since the day..hemm..my life in KL..I think it is nice..I didn't even fucking care what happened at hometown..At least i don't need to listen to gossip anymore..you guys not tired de meh??meh hai o??still gossiping after form 5??now form 6 still wanna like this meh?you not tired i also tired lo..stop being childish lo..mature a bit also can't ma??everyday love him love you,all bull shit..I need a really big hug now..ya..damn emo..who will give me??Is my girlfriend really serious in this stuff???I am wondering..Her action is like totally single..dating other guy,take picture with them,do everything that I BLOODY HELL hate my girlfriend to do it..We argued..For??FUCK..for a boy..BLOODY HELL..i am fucking piss off that day..For dating other guy,she willing to argue with me no matter what..What the hell??I am speechless to her action..What can i do??Some one can just teach me??please??I am helpless here..really..She hurt me badly..I think is time to get back to my castle in my heart...By taking things not serious,I won't get hurt easily..Crying??Like a baby??HEll no..Who will be comfort me??I am sad...Just let me be ot..After all,I am nobody..Just a heartless who recently found a sudden cool sudden warm heart...

haiz..

2009-05-12T18:50:00.000+08:00

Life goes on and on..Yea Yea..i finally start my college life..gee..is damn boring and hectic..Shit..got some new friends of course..but can be myself!!!!!fake..haiz..keep pretend like know English..waste money..one more thing,can't meet WL..Shit..WL.oh my god..damn miss her de lo..haha..zzz..can't online at here..everyday go college online ny..the line sucks..everyday eat the samething...zzz..AF..how are you ar??hope you fine lo..KY leh..zzz..you also bah~~hehe..

用一生来说的一句话

2008-12-18T09:56:00.000+08:00

有个女孩子，小时腿瘸，常年坐在门口看别的孩子玩，很寂寞。
夏天，邻居家的城里亲戚来玩，带来了他们的小孩——一个比女孩大5岁的男孩。男孩把抓到的蜻蜓放到女孩的手心，还把女孩背到河边，对着女孩讲故事。他是第一个告诉她，她的腿可以治好的人。女孩难得地有了笑容。
夏天结束时，男孩一家人要离开了。女孩眼泪汪汪来送，在他耳边小声地说：“我治好腿以后，嫁给你好吗？”男孩点点头。20年过去了，男孩长成了男人，开一间咖啡店，有了未婚妻。一天，他接到电话，一个女子说她的腿好了，来到了这个城市。一时间，他想不起她是谁。他早已忘记了童年某个夏天的故事，忘记了那个脸色苍白的小女孩，更忘记了一个孩子善良的承诺。
可是，他还是收留了她，让她在店里帮忙。
她终日沉默，可是他没时间*心她，他的未婚妻怀上了不是他的孩子。他羞愤交加，扔掉了所有的准备结婚用的东西，日日酗酒，变得狂暴易怒，连家人都疏远了他，生意更是无心打理。不久，他就大病一场。
这段时间里，她一直守在他身边，照顾他，容*他酒醉时的打骂，更独自撑着摇摇欲坠的小店。她学到了很多东西，也累得骨瘦如柴，可眼里，总跳跃着两点火花。
半年之后，他终于康复了。面对她所做的一切，只有感激。他把店送给她，她执意不要，他只好宣布她是一半的老板。在她的帮助下，他又振作起来，他掏心掏肺地对她倾诉，她依然是沉默地听着。这样又过了几年，他也交了几个女朋友，都不长。她一直独身。他发现她其实是很素雅的，风韵天成，不乏追求者。他笑她心高，她只是笑笑。终有一天，他决定出去走走。拿到护照前，他把店里的一切交给她。这一次，她没反对，只是说为他保管，等他回来。
在异乡飘泊的日子很苦，他忽然发现，无论疾病或健康、贫穷或富裕、如意或不如意，真正陪在他身边的只有她。他行踪不定，她的信却总是跟在身后，只字片言，轻轻淡淡，却一直觉着温暖。他想回去是时候了。
到家时他为她的良苦用心而感动——无论是家里还是店里，他的东西的位置一直好好保存着，仿佛随时等着他回来。他大声叫唤她的名字，却无人应答。
店里换了新主管，他告诉他，她因积劳成疾去世半年了。按照她的吩咐，新主管一直叫专人注意他的行踪。把她留下的几百封信一一寄出，为他管理店里的事，为他收拾房子，等他回来。
新主管把她的遗物交给他——一只蜻蜓的标本，还有一盘录音带，是她的临终遗言。
带子里只有她回光返照时宛如少女般的轻语：“我……嫁给你……好吗？”
抛弃27年的岁月，他像孩子一样号啕大哭起来。
有时候，一个女人要用她的一生来说这样一句简单的话

28....

2008-09-28T16:08:00.000+08:00

one month had pass..so fast..one month without my best friend..exam and working had keep me away from tears..i am really sad..and also regret..but i must not..i have to continue my life..without them..i am the one who want this..i know..i deserve it..keep them away from me..i bring sadness..she cried at school because of me for 4 time..i should not..i keep promise her..but i can't do it..what am i??useless..i like them..very much..i choose the other way to show my love to them..i should not bother them anymore..just let them and i will keep them in my memories..hope them happy always..i will never forget this day..28.8.08..and 14.4.08..forever..

다만 좋아하는 것은 감금소를 성곽 투옥한다.。。

2008-09-27T16:50:00.000+08:00

인간이라고, 심혼에서 성곽을 점차적으로 쌓아 올릴 수 있다, 닫는다 외부에 있는 세계를 손상되었다.이것 같이 생각은 손상될 수 없었다., 도시 문 이상으로 닫히고다 싶다, 심혼을 소유하기 위하여 점점 무정할 수 있다, 마지막으로 또한 수 없다 걸을, 성곽에서 소유하기 위하여 투옥한다 실제로 잊었었다.인생은, 욕망에 의하여 무역하는 전부 장려한 성곽에서, 일생동안에 선고했다는 것을 투옥 닫힌ㄴ다는 것을 성곽, 임금인 생각을, 수시로 실제로 몰랐다 쌓아 올린다.

ちょうど同類はおりを城投獄する。。。

2008-09-26T17:34:00.000+08:00

人間、中心で城を次第に造り上げることができる閉める外側の世界を傷つけられた。このような思考は傷つけることができなかった。、都市ゲートの外で閉まることを好む中心を所有するためにますます堅いがある場合もある最終的にまたことができない歩く城で所有するために投獄する実際に忘れていた。人命は、欲求によって交換するすべて頻繁に自分自身が壮麗な城で、生涯に刑を宣告した自分自身に投獄閉まることを城、自分自身によってが王である思考を、実際に知らなかった造り上げる

hapi birthday to myself..

2008-09-26T15:56:00.000+08:00

great..today is my birthday..i am quite sad..i lost them..no one willing to care me..expt some of my male friend..wat am i??nothing..birthday sucks..i will celebrate it alone this year!!!i don't need you all..i am okay to be alone..knock everyone off!!

loneliness..

2008-09-23T16:53:00.000+08:00

it is consuming me..it is feeding on my heart..i am lost..i am changed..to an half otaku..i started to hate female..not hate actually..is disappointed at them..my computer is better..at least it won't angry at me..hemp..girl??sucks...birthday is coming..i am scared..i scare i have to celebrate it alone..i hate loneliness..you guys abandoned me..i am changing...

ZZzzz..z.z

2008-09-17T12:01:00.000+08:00

->5230==我爱上你
--〉1372==一厢情愿
--〉5380==我想抱你
--〉7320==今生爱你
--〉1573==一往情深
--〉8070==抱你亲你
--〉1314==一生一世
--〉1240==最爱是你
--〉3456== 相思无用
--〉5360==我想念你
--〉2014==爱你一世
--〉521==我愿意
--〉240==爱死你
--〉537==我生气
--〉360==想念你
--〉520==我爱你
--〉380==想抱你
--〉370==想亲你
--〉73749420==今生今世就是爱你

爱情就像水一样，当你口渴时，淡淡水你也觉得很甜很好喝的，｛这也是侣之间热情的时期｝；当你不口渴时，那杯淡淡的水也就是淡淡的，喝它只为了补充水份，｛这也是情侣之间情的时期｝；当你不在意那杯水，一不小心推跌时，杯破碎了，水也跟着走了，你想要回这杯水也要不回了｛也是情侣之间不再紧张对方，其中一位对此心淡了，决定放手离开了，可这时的你才要挽回，这已太迟了，水了哪可收回呢｝

在个冬天的夜晚,街道上都冷清清地,我把手伸向天上飘下的雪,在我手里看到只是雪在我手上融化掉落的地上,看着这白白的地,我的心也不知道该从何去出...
雪就像我们的回忆...容了就是没有了...回忆也只可以回想,不能袮補...只会遗憾...
看着那白白的地就像我想起以前的回忆...怎么也不能忘记...
天上掉下来的雪是我们不好的回忆...在我心中留的都是美好的回忆...

♥`•.¸¸.•´´•:*´¨`*:•.••.¸¸. ´´¯`•♥
想你　　　　想你　　想你　　　想你　想你想你想见你
想你　　　想你　想你　想你　　想你　想你
想你　　想你　　想你　想你　想你　　想你想你想见你
想你　　想你　　想你　想你想你　　想你
想你　　　想你　想你　　　想你想　　想你
想你想见你想你想你　　　　想你　　　想你想你想见你

♥`•.¸¸.•´´•:*´¨`*:•.••.¸¸. ´´¯`•♥
╔╗I love you..
║║╔═╦╦╦═╗
║╚╣║║│║╩╣
╚═╩═╩═╩═╝

___幸福到底是什么？___
幸福是怎麼？幸福是睡得好。
幸福是您喜欢的人也喜欢您。
幸福是随便走走没目的什麼也不想。
幸福是冬天等巴士时喝热维他奶。
幸福是看一本精采的好书。
幸福是想起心上人而偷笑。
幸福是情人用体温为你送暖。
幸福是生活简单。
幸福是和心爱的人一起看星。
每个人都需要幸福。
您幸福吗？您同意吗？
爱，不是相互依恋的缠绵，不是海誓山盟的承诺；
爱，是默默付出的实践，是以真情体贴冷漠的温柔。
如果我能阻止一颗心的破碎，我便不虚此生；
如果我能抚平一个人的伤痛，
或是减轻一个人的痛苦，或是帮助一只昏厥的鹧鸪，
送它重新的回到温暖的窝，我便不虚此生。
甜酸苦辣是爱情的调味料：
热恋是甜的；失恋是酸的；单恋是苦的；
什麼是辣的？那是初恋－新鲜热‘辣’。
爱一个
* 放弃一个很爱你的人，
并不痛苦。
放弃一个你很爱的人，
那才痛苦。
爱上一个不爱你的人，
那更是痛苦。
不要等到错过了才去后悔；
不要等到失去了
才想挽回。。。*

╱╲╱╲╋━━╋ →【誓言+承諾=愛情】
╲封╲╱┃絕戀┃ →【傷痛+絕望=苦戀】
╱╲心╲┃絕愛┃ →【寂寞+墜落=孤獨】
╲╱╲╱╋━━╋ →【愛戀+謊言=分手】

爱是什么?也许这个问题很少人会知道答案,很多人都不知道什么是爱而往往伤了对方的心...有些人会说和对方分手心会很痛而哭,其实这只是一句话,并不代表他真正爱对方如果他真的爱对方就不应该哭,而应该让对方找到自己的幸福!能让对方快乐才叫做真爱如果要让对方幸福就应该学习¤放弃¤让对方去寻找自己真正的幸福...

爱一个人…
要了解，也要开解；要道歉，也要道谢；要认错，也要改错；要体贴，也要体谅；是接受，而不是忍受；是宽容，而不是纵容；是支持，而不是支配；是慰问，而不是质问；是倾诉，而不是控诉；是难忘。而不是遗忘；是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；是为对方默默祈求，而不是向对方诸多要求；可以浪漫，但不要浪费；可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手；以上的都做到了，即使不再爱一个人，也只有怀念，而不会怀恨...

我为了你我可以做到，你做得到我也做得到我还很喜欢你的你知道吗？？？？
爱的无言
可爱冷酷也罢历经沧桑也没关系
我就是爱你从初见面的那一刻就动了心
无法改变就是有一种感觉
已深深爱上你真的很简单
爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓
没有后悔
失恋过又如何
谁没有过去谁没有历史
只要你愿意留在我身边
不管你走路、睡觉、浅笑、看书、或失控
你每个模样都好可爱
都令我疯狂
永远不愿意失去你
不可能更快乐只要能在一起
若你还有一些困惑
请贴者
我的心倾听我不只喜欢你
还很爱你哦！！！

ｏｏｏ糖糖糖糖糖ｏｏ
ｏｏ糖ｏｏｏｏｏｏｏ
ｏ糖ｏｏ糖糖糖糖ｏｏ
糖ｏｏ糖ｏｏｏｏ糖ｏ
糖ｏ糖ｏｏ糖ｏｏｏ糖
糖ｏｏ糖ｏｏ糖ｏｏ糖
ｏ糖ｏｏ糖糖ｏｏ糖ｏ
ｏｏ糖ｏｏｏｏ糖ｏｏ
ｏｏｏ糖糖糖糖ｏｏｏ
ｏｏｏｏ棒ｏｏｏｏｏ
ｏｏｏｏ棒ｏｏｏｏｏ
ｏｏｏｏ棒ｏｏｏｏｏ
ｏｏｏｏ棒ｏｏｏｏｏ
ｏｏｏｏ棒ｏｏｏｏｏ

一对情侣...
不用一直黏在一起...
放你的男朋友自由...
不用一直管着他...
给你的女朋友空间...
她爱你...自然会很听你的话...
不用一直想着...
::为什么没收到信息...
::为什么没有通知我...什么之类的...
一直sms...怎么那么多废话？
各有各的东西要做...
爱=包容+原谅+自由+空间...
不是闹着别扭...
等着他去安慰你sayang你...
有时候不是他不在乎你...
而是把他看得太重...
::他跟朋友在一起时,不要打扰他...应给他空
间,告诉他你会等他信息就好...
::不要翻看他的短信,你不是侦探,他也是犯
人...
::不要给他做不到的承诺,这只是应酬.. .
::真正爱你的男孩...就算没见面...但你会发觉他
手机里都是你的信息...
::真正爱你的男孩...他不怕你生气...而是怕你在
生气后不理他...

每个人都有自己的烦恼...
其实事情没分大与小...
只是看人们怎样去面对
和决定解决这件事而已~
问题的大与小也是人们自己说的...
只要往好的方面想
事情就会变得好一些...
那是轻松就可以变得小咯~

*********开心笑每一天************

*因為愛你...所以我放手讓你自由
*因為愛你...所以我不再讓你困擾
*因為愛你...所以我寧願自己難過
*因為愛你...所以我改變了自已
*因為愛你...所以我逼自己離開
愛上一個人,如此的甜蜜卻又讓人受傷
放棄一個人,如此的難過卻又讓人心碎
當緣份要來的時候,你如何擋也擋不過
當緣份要跑的時候,你如何留也留不住
當你愛上一個人的時候,你會為她/他做任何事
當你和這人分手的時候,你會為她/他留下一滴淚
愛上一個人,需要1分鐘的時間
追一個人,需要1個月的時間
但忘記一個人,卻要了你一輩子的時間. ..

所以我也不会选择忘记一个人
那样只会弄到自己更加伤心,更加痛苦. .
一切随缘吧~~~~

Today is 14..again..

2008-09-14T11:26:00.000+08:00

haiz..so fast..another month had come..this is the first time we didn't celebrate 14 together..you guys remember today??i will..and forever will..14..every month i will..you guys won't diao anymore rite?I once live in the castle..then you both come..enter it..i found out that my castle didn't suit both of you..you both torture inside..i am useless..can't control myself..say one thing,do another thing..i am weak..thats why..i decided to get you both far away from me..this is an action of showing how important in my heart..let both of you free from negative thinking..far away from this castle..i will live in it forever..with my regret inside..of course,you both won't know what i did..but..hope you both can understand me..i do this for everyone benefit..you guys life better without me..you both are animal leh..must run at field ma..can't stay at this castle de..rite?14 of April..

宛如囚笼的城堡。。。

2008-09-13T11:57:00.000+08:00

受过伤的人，渐渐会在心中建起城堡，把世界关在外头。以为这样就不会受伤了。却忘了，把爱关在城门外，自己的心会越来越冷酷，最终在也走不出去，将自己囚禁在城堡内。人的一生，以欲望换来的一切建起城堡，以为自己是国王，却往往不知道自己被关在华丽的城堡中，把自己判了终生监禁。你的城堡以盖起来了吗？它是金碧辉煌，还是古朴寂寞？你是被城堡囚禁了，又或能够随时丢下城堡，毫不回顾的走出去？？

I lost confidence..

2008-09-11T15:17:00.000+08:00

yea..i am lost..i lost confidence it making new friends..i scare i will get hurt by you guy..people are fake..everyone are..i am scare..i lost myself among the people sea..i hope after finish form 5,i won't meet you all anymore..expt some of my brother la..haha...what for meet each other..the darkness of human is consuming me..i am half died...

boring...

2008-09-09T17:45:00.000+08:00

haiz..the day remain same..dull..exam exam exam..everyday exam..really stressing my out man..remember..love wht you love,hate wht you hate..haha

Today continue..

2008-09-08T14:48:00.000+08:00

are you guys happy?i think so lor..haha..i also began to get use to it dy...but..K.Y..you really over it..you pay back the money??you really over..haha..your action is very childish o..maybe you don't know..but really..childish..you think that will make you happier?no..i think it hurt my feeling lor..but nvm la..dy pass..let it go..haha..hope you guys happy forever ya..i think my action is rite..leaving me is really relief aren't it..haha..bubye..i will also try to happy too..

want it like this..

2008-09-06T14:15:00.000+08:00

i want it this way.i have to get used to it..i should take everything of this.i never do anything for you guys expt giving you problems and stress.yesterday,i typed my last message to you with tears dropping.did you know that?no..you won't..and forever you guys won't.i am useless.i can't do anything to reduce your both de stress.then,i onli can destroy this friendship to make you both leave me.if i didn't you both will continue suffer..at least i finally do something for you..you two are my best female friend i ever had..is impossible to get back both of you as friend.the best way is make you both angry.so that you will leave me..and ignore me..because i am not as cruel as you both.i can't ignore you..i am nothing..haha.just like what you guys said..right??you gouys will forget me soon..i do this is not acting as if i am good or what..but just what you said..Who did i thought i am??haha.ya..both of you are rite.i am nothing.i dy said many time..i have no confidence to be you friend..anyway,no worries..i will recover soon..my heart is good in negative condition..making you both angry,hate,dissapoint at me,is the best way to make you both feel relief..onli both of you hate me o..i didn't ..rememeber that forever..you both are always my friend..hiaz..i bet you both will not ever wish my birthday aren't you?nvm la..you both happy will do..i do everything that you both hate the most===being a faker..scold you both playing my feeling..sure very dissapoint rite?nvm la..next time,we will meet again.i am very sure.i got a strong feeling that you both will see me again one day..hope one day..i will be waitting for that day..forever..that day..

days continue like this..

2008-09-05T16:40:00.000+08:00

will i celebrate my birthday alone??i lost both of you in one day..you hair smell..i will never forget it..it is really nice..but it won't have any chance to smell anymore.you all are very happy without me..only i am the one who suffer..you won't feel a thing..yes..i have to take everything..i am man!!haha..you guys will happy de la..i will keep you guys to my memories..is really hard to forget you..you all really cruel..but is okay..this is what i always want..i am an adult..i have to receive what i done..if can,i wish to have you back..really..as friend will do..T.T..i am really hard to pass through my days..

well..

2008-09-04T15:44:00.000+08:00

well..today is the first week without you..you guys are having much fun then having me this friend..i suppose..i am really doing the rite thing..you guys had been hurt enough..i am the one should take it..i am man..i should..you guys continue having fun ya.i will take everything..haiz..looks like i am going to pass my birthday alone this time..

continue like this..

2008-09-03T15:37:00.000+08:00

haiz...just as what i always want..everything just as what i want..i should be happy..but i didn't..how come??i am very sad..shit..hyper sad..i am trying to hold my feeling..very much..i really don't know why both of you can act as if nothing happened..you both are really good..hiaz..continue like this bah..at least i am happy??no..sad i mean..you both will understand me one day..i do this for three of us..not three actually..is for you guyz and for me..i am going to leave kuantan soon..you guys won't feel sad that time..continue to hate me..this is what i want..continue it..as what i plan..both of you really is a good friend you know??but..haiz..whatever la..you two won't give a damn..

Letter to A.F

2008-08-31T18:51:00.000+08:00

sorry..aiks..just can't control..i promised you..but i just can't stand..the feeling is onli increasing..well,the best way is leave you..make you du lan me..haha..sure you will feel annoy if you know this plan..but is okay..you will have a better life..you can de la..me only ma..nothing sepcial.just a normal people..not liang zai somemore..=p..i really shocked..haha..love you leh...we had been too close..don't worry la.no one will smell you hair anymore..no one will punch your arm anymore..i will remember you forever..sometimes,felling can't control..for ages,wan ling is always first..suddenly,you rush to so in front..i can't hold..i jealous other boy date you..very jealous..i jealous you touch other boy..i really love you..but..haiz..who are you??you are school flower leh..i am nothing..not liang zai somemore..any of your ex is better then me..if i tell you i love you,sure you feel not comfortable right?haha..but i really got a bit disappoint at you..we know each other through feeling..you should know me..am i that small gas??just because of your joke,i angry at you??impossible right??haha..never mind la..at least we got sweet memories before right??thanks ya..i am not acting as if i am very great..i know..i am very selfish..but at least you won't feel sad right??aiks..well..about the being your future's son open dad..aiks..future de thing...see bah..maybe got chance de..kakakaka..i must be dreaming then...you are much more better then me..frog want to eat goose..haha..>.<..aiks..i admit..i plan everything..i know that thing will make you angry de thing still wanna do meh??i am not sohai..is impossible i will make you angry with such word..i wasn't hoping to get anything from you..but..letting you hate me..haiz..maybe is a better way..i really appreciate that you want me this friend..from your eyes..i can feel it..really..but i have to stop myself..as you told me before..don't ever love you..because you don't wanna hurt me..i can't stop myself..this is the best way..i tried many ways you know??but i always fail..haha.the Friday before holiday..i tried..but i regret..then ask for your apologize..you gave me chance..i really like you,you know??but this like has convert to love..i have to stop before anything bad happen..you really charming sometime you know??haha..this thing only wei ting,mee kee and wan ling know..yvonne also know..i told her..but she didn't diao me..never mind la..i dy expected..i discovered that i love you during the holiday.before this..nothing happened..i started to change when i love you..i choose to cut it down..i told you before..you say don't..then i just let the feeling grow it self..i know my action is the most sohai,selfish..but i can't find any way anymore..i can't tell anyone..not even yvonne..sure she will tell you..i have no right to love you..no cost..no nothing..i am nothing..but you are not..you are almost everything..your smile..your hair's smell..your fat fat de neck and arm..haha..haiz..lastly,sorry for everything i gave and thanks for everything you gave me...i am very sure..you won't feel anything losing me..a bit sad maybe will..but you will forget it..because you disappoint at me..and..i am nothing..i hope you won't forget me..hope you can place me in a part of your memories..a small dot will do..i not dare to face the fact the i love you..because is totally impossible we both..no need wait you say no..because it is more hurt...hope you happy forever..if can,i hope to be your friend back..really..but must without the feeling of love..is not like anymore..is love.holy shit..i love Tan Ai Fan..WTF..haiz..i must dream and think too much..=p..bye then..when you read this letter,i am sure you dy forgive me..thanks anyway..

after you read this letter,i am sure..you will hate me more..this is fake..

Mission complete with hurts...

2008-08-30T20:16:00.000+08:00

Sorry..I had to do it..I fall in love with A.F...I know..I shouldn't..but i can't hold...i can't control...my feeling is just increasing..i had to do it..i am selfish..make both of you hate me..at least i am only the one who get hurt..it is better than three of us..K.Y..you are innocent..you deserve nothing..sorry.A.F,i can't control myself not falling in love with you..i had to make you hate me..Everything goes as what i hope..aiks..but i am quite disappoint..you really believe that i didn't change..I really do..just hide it..i am not acting as if i am great guy..but i do what i think is correct..at least like this,you both won't feel sad..the love is increasing everyday..i tried to control..but i fail..i choose 28.8.08...double the date..is easier to remember..i know you through feeling..you should have trust me..i won't do anything to hurt you again and again..but you really believe..i do that sengaja..i want you to hate me..disappoint at me..so that i have reason to convince myself..i can't accept myself falling in love with you..for all these years,W.L is first place..you rush to in front..I just can't..i am weak..i know is impossible you and i..but didn't keep the promise..not to love in you..i know..i must stop..i will take all the hurts..till my last breath..try not to say out..my feeling will cold down i think..lastly.sorry and thank you..

Finish...

2008-08-28T20:38:00.000+08:00

Finally,the limit had break..everything had finish..bye forever..