Night of 28 of July..22.44

I just get out from her room..Shit..I drop my tears on her hands..while she was sleeping..The tears just can't hold..Am i not good enough??Do i deserve this?I must treat her not good enough.Yea..thats why..Today should happy..I tried to hold my feeling ..Try to stop the tears from dropping..but it just can't hold..Maybe i should really cool down my feeling..Aren't today should be happy??Why am i crying??I remember every word she said..I wore the shirt that she said want to see me wearing today..but how long she spend to look at me..What am I to her??How many 28 can i celebrate with her??She is headache..I should know that..but i just can't hold..the tears fell..I rush out her room..I can't let her see me crying...Must not..Sure she will feel guilty..Nah..I am just emo..Just feel like crying..today i even didn't got the chance to hug her..Last 28 we didn't meet..but it is better then today..at least we sms..at least i got the chance to see that she type she love me..today..nothing..not even a hug..anything..just drop by my rooms to take her book..thats all..nothing..noting any more..haha..what am i expecting??yea..i am expecting something..again..I am willing to give her everything..but will she want it??just a small space for me in her heart..just a small smile from her to me..just a single care words from her to me..It will surely make my day feel better then anyone else..Love sucks really..Two time also like this..But i love her..What can i do expt crying..Crying will make me feel better..she happy..enough..Just a single call i will do anything for her..really..