Finally...

Finally..today had come..the darkest day in my life..after ai fan..She told me..We have problems in our relationship..She told me..she is tired...she told me..she is getting piss off..She is tired..she want to end this relationship..A girl that i love the most..a girl that i care the most..a girl that i would willing to spend everything to her..a girl that..I will give my world to her,told me that she is tired of our relationship...The girl that i hug always,the girl that i kiss always,the girl that i text always,the girl that i miss always,the girl that i hold in my hands,the girl that lay down on my chest while watching movie,the girl that used to love me very much had gone..Exam coming..how am i gonna pass it..i totally have no mood in study..I am turning back to what i was..

today..sad day again..

today,we were having cool war..even she say nothing..but i can feel it..The feeling of her toward me is getting cooler and cooler..i know..she is tired..i know..she is getting bored for our relationship..I ask her..whats wrong with us?but she say nothing..She don't care about me for long time dy..she didn't hug me for long time dy..when was the last time she say she love me??when was the last time she kiss me..when was the last time she smile with me..when was the last time she chat happily with me alone.when was the last time she say she miss me..when..when..when..i forget..the date..i forget..the feel..it is fading away very fast..nothing can make me happy..i do everything that has nothing to do with me.i help her everything.i give my time..every minutes i free,i spend for her..i do her thinking skill project..that had totally nothing to do with me..i spend the whole night...with her best friend..do the cover for her project..today..when i go to find her after Mr gopi exam,i saw her..with her make friend..alone..talking...about their problems..she didn't share anything with me..I was heart broken when i saw this scene.not i don't believe her..even herself also don't believe her feeling,how am i gonna believe her..i keep stick with her.because i hope to be the one she need when she really need me..i hope..to be the one appear in front her eyes when she need help..i hope..i always hope..but nothing..she said that i was kinna bothering..and she beg me..please don't bring anymore problem to her..i was a problem for her..i never know..i never know..i was very sad..i nearly cry..serious..my eyes was wet..so i walk away..to cool down my feeling..then i help her do her project cover.I was hoping that she would feed me..just anything will do..because i do all this,for HER!!for her..she didn't..she feed her friends first..then she have fun talking with her friends..Finally..her friends left..leave only me and her..i was once again hoping..hoping that she will praise me,hug me,or do something!!but she didn't..what i get from her was.sorry,i was not in a good mood.i don't feel like talking..but she was talking with her room mate..she was having with her friends minutes ago..she WAS TALKING WITH HER MOM ON THE PHONE MINUTES AGO..she will be talking to her male friend later...WHAT AM I TO HER...i was damn sad..she hurt me so bad..why..everything also like this..wan ling also like that..ai fan also like this..what am i??thing that can absorb hurts??i am really shocked..har??after all i did,i spend my night doing this,all i get,is only i am not in good mood,don;t feel like talking..hahahahahaha..hahahahahaha,,,8 words from her..thats all..nothing dy..

9.9.09.

today,we done our moral assessment..She pay out many things.she deserved the champion more then anyone.but..when Mr.Adrian announce the champion,she happily jump,hug,hold hands with everyone..but not me..i know why..but i still feel very sad..i am struggling..no one see my pain..i need a hug seriously..